Loneliness: Why Beautiful Places Don’t Always Feel Enough

When Beautiful Places Still Feel Lonely

I remember standing at the top of the Rockefeller Center in New York City, looking at one of the most breathtaking skylines in the world. The city was alive, the lights seemed endless, and everyone around me was smiling, taking photos, and enjoying the moment.

I wasn’t alone.

I was surrounded by incredible people, all young like me, with exciting futures ahead of them. A few of my friends and colleagues were standing right beside me. From the outside, it looked like the perfect night out.

Yet, I remember feeling lonely.

Not because I didn’t have people around me, but because one person who meant the most to me wasn’t there to share that moment. I realised that loneliness has very little to do with the number of people around us and much more to do with the emotional connections we long for.

That experience stayed with me for a long time. It also reminded me of conversations I’ve had with many people in therapy who described feeling exactly the same. Some felt lonely while travelling. Others experienced it after moving abroad or leaving their families behind. Many of them asked themselves the same question:

How can I feel lonely when I’m surrounded by so many people?

As it turns out, psychology has an answer.

What Is Loneliness?

Loneliness is often misunderstood.

One of the biggest misconceptions about loneliness is that it only happens when we are physically alone. People usually think loneliness means being by yourself, but the two are not the same. We can spend a quiet evening alone and feel completely content, while someone else may feel profoundly lonely in a crowded room, at a family gathering, or even during a dream holiday.

Psychologists Perlman and Peplau (1981) describe loneliness as the distress that occurs when there is a gap between the relationships we want and the relationships we actually have. In other words, loneliness is not about the number of people around us; it is about the quality of the connections we experience.

This is why loneliness can appear while travelling, after moving abroad, or even while spending time with friends. Sometimes, we are not missing company, but we are missing a particular person, a sense of belonging, or simply the feeling of being understood.

Looking back at my own experience in New York, I wasn’t lonely because I was alone. I wasn’t. I was surrounded by wonderful people, laughing, exploring one of the most exciting cities in the world. Yet, I realised I was missing someone important with whom I wanted to share that experience.

Loneliness is not the absence of people -> it is the absence of meaningful connection.

Sometimes we don’t miss company; we miss our company. The people who make us feel safe, understood, accepted, or simply at home.

That is why loneliness can appear in the middle of the most extraordinary experiences. It doesn’t ask where you are—it asks whether you feel emotionally connected.

Loneliness While Living Abroad

For people living abroad, loneliness can become an even more familiar feeling.

Whether you’ve moved for work, university, love, or simply a fresh start, leaving your home country often means leaving behind much more than a physical place. We leave our routines, our favourite coffee shop, family dinners, lifelong friendships, familiar language, traditions, and the small everyday moments that quietly made us feel at home.

Building a new life is exciting, but it also means rebuilding your support system from the beginning.

Many immigrants, expats, and international students describe feeling as though they belong between two worlds. They may miss home while adapting to a new culture, yet when they return, they sometimes realise that home has changed too—or perhaps they have.

As social beings, we all have a fundamental need to belong. Research consistently shows that feeling connected to others is essential for our psychological wellbeing. When those meaningful connections are disrupted, feelings of loneliness naturally become more common.

This doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision by moving abroad. More often, it reflects the completely normal process of adjusting to a new environment while slowly creating a new sense of belonging. I’ll explain this in more detail in another article.

What Does Loneliness Do to Our Brain?

Loneliness affects far more than our emotions.

Research led by psychologist John Cacioppo, one of the world’s leading experts on loneliness, has shown that prolonged loneliness can influence the way our brain processes social situations. When we feel lonely for long periods, the brain becomes more alert to potential social threats, making us more likely to expect rejection or misunderstand other people’s intentions. Ironically, this can make it even harder to build the connections we are longing for.

Studies have also linked chronic loneliness to an increased risk of anxiety, depression, poorer sleep, cognitive decline, and reduced overall wellbeing. Beyond mental health, loneliness has been associated with higher blood pressure, increased inflammation in the body, cardiovascular disease, and even a greater risk of stroke.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that feeling lonely for a few days after moving abroad or while travelling will harm your health. Loneliness is a normal human emotion that we all experience from time to time.

However, when it becomes persistent and starts affecting your daily life, it deserves attention, support, and compassion rather than judgement.

Can AI Replace Human Connection?

I find the topic quite interesting, especially today.

In recent years, more and more people have started turning to artificial intelligence when they feel lonely. Whether it’s asking questions, sharing worries, or simply having someone (or something) to talk to, AI has become a source of comfort for many.

I find this fascinating, not only as someone interested in psychology but also because it raises important questions about the future of human connection.

Can AI help reduce loneliness?

I believe it can…to a certain extent.

AI can provide information, encourage reflection, help organise our thoughts, and sometimes make us feel heard in difficult moments. For people who are isolated, it may even be a valuable first step towards expressing emotions they have struggled to share with others.

However, AI cannot replace what our brains are ultimately searching for: genuine human connection.

It cannot hug us after a difficult day, laugh with us over shared memories, look us in the eyes, or create the sense of belonging that develops through real relationships.

As someone who uses AI regularly, I see it as a wonderful tool, but not a replacement for the people in our lives. Technology can support connection, but it should never replace it.

Perhaps the healthiest approach is to let AI help us understand ourselves a little better, while continuing to invest in the relationships that make us feel truly connected.

How Can We Feel Less Lonely?

Feeling lonely doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means that one of your fundamental psychological needs— connection — is asking for attention.

Although loneliness can feel overwhelming, there are small steps that can help you reconnect with yourself and with others.

Here are a few ideas that may help:

• Acknowledge how you’re feeling. Loneliness is a human emotion, not a weakness. The more we accept it, the easier it becomes to respond to it with compassion rather than self-criticism.
• Stay connected to the people who matter. A phone call, a video chat, or even a simple message can make a meaningful difference, especially if you’re living abroad.
• Create new opportunities for connection. Join a local class, a sports club, or volunteer; attend community events; or simply spend time in places where conversations happen naturally. Meaningful relationships rarely appear overnight; they grow over time.
• Take care of yourself. Regular exercise, good sleep, time outdoors, and maintaining a routine all support our mental wellbeing and can make loneliness feel more manageable.
• Reflect on what you’re truly missing. Sometimes we think we’re missing a place, when in reality we’re missing a person, a sense of belonging, or a particular chapter of our lives. Understanding what lies beneath the feeling is often the first step towards moving forward.

Most importantly, remember that loneliness is not a permanent state. Like every emotion, it changes. With time, new experiences, and meaningful relationships, our sense of belonging can grow again.

You have questions?

When Should You Seek Professional Help?

Feeling lonely from time to time is a normal part of being human, especially after moving abroad, experiencing major life changes, or spending long periods away from the people we love.

However, if loneliness becomes persistent and begins to affect your daily life, it may be time to seek professional support.

Consider reaching out to a psychologist, psychotherapist, counsellor, or your GP if you notice the following:

• You feel lonely or emotionally low for several weeks without improvement.
• You lose interest in activities you usually enjoy.
• Your sleep changes significantly, whether you’re sleeping far more or struggling to sleep.
• You notice changes in your appetite or weight.
• You find it difficult to concentrate, work, or study.
• You feel constantly anxious, hopeless, or emotionally exhausted.
• You begin withdrawing from family, friends, or social situations altogether.
• You feel that life has lost its meaning or you’re struggling to cope.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes we simply need someone to help us understand what we’re experiencing and support us as we rebuild connection—with others and with ourselves.

If any part of this article resonates with you, please remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Speaking to someone you trust or reaching out for professional support can be an important first step.

Final Thoughts

Loneliness doesn’t care whether you’re standing in the middle of New York City, in London or any other countries, starting a new life abroad, or surrounded by people who love you. It is not measured by the number of faces around us, but by the depth of the connections we feel.

If there’s one thing I’d like you to take away from this article, it’s this:

Loneliness is not the absence of people – it is the absence of meaningful connection.

And the good news? Connection can be rebuilt.

I’m Raluca, and through Psychology Anywhere I hope to create a space where we can better understand ourselves, wherever in the world we may be. My promise is to continue sharing thoughtful, evidence-based psychology that is both practical and human.